An Eye of Gratitude

This week was Thanksgiving weekend. It was honestly such a wonderful weekend. so great to come home and be with with the family. Being away from them for so long make me really appreciate all that my parents do for me.
this class is all about families and the family structure and i cant tell you how much i look at my family differently. Like every bond that we have, every communication skill that we have, all the ways we show affection and the things we do with others in our family makes me realize the reasons why we do things and how my family seemingly perfectly common, is in fact completely different from any others.
I think that because i had to write a paper on the value of fatherhood in the family, i was observing my dad a little more then usual. It was remarkable the love i acquired for him the more i looked at what he did for me and my family. Fatherhood is honestly such an important part of the family system. Its so wonderful to watch my dad support us financially and put so much pressure on himself to make us feel the security that money, home, and material things can bring to us. He gives his whole day over and over again to do whatever he has to do to make us happy and able to live the lifestyle we love. He is so selfless that it takes my breath away. And then to have him come home, help mom with household things, and then still have time to show his love for my siblings and me is the best feeling ever.
I love when i can go up to my dad and have him rub my back or my hair as i lay on his lap and watch tv with him. making him laugh is one of my favorite things. He is so funny and so understanding and easy going. I just love him so much and this paper and this weekend really made me realize it.
i am so blessed to have the father that i do. to have the mother that i do. I know that if i had anyone different, i would not be the person who i am today.
Thanksgiving is a time to be grateful. A lot of time i look at the things my life lacks. but i want to start looking at my life with an eye of Gratitude. To look at all the things that i have to be grateful for. the life and the family that my parents have made for me. and have given their whole life to create for me.
I love them so much and i love my siblings and i feel blessed this holiday to be privileged enough to feel that love.
This was a good thanksgiving. obviously. i have a lot to be thankful for.

Super Powers

This week we talked a lot about the power that can arise in a relationship. Monday we talked about communication and the power that we can have if we talk to each other. I usually dont have a problem with talking... but i do think that i have trouble expressing my feelings in a way that allows others to feel like they can voice their own opinions. i know that to make a relationship work, there has to be communication. But that doesn't just mean talking. i think it also takes a lot of listening. Listen to the way your partner says things. Their tone, their body language, and the words that they say. I can't wait till i have a relationship where i can understand what they are saying without him saying it. But the thing is, i guess i would want a relationship where i didn't have to find the underlying words, but instead, i would want him to tell me. to not fear me getting mad or hurting my feelings, but to be able to have a open and honest relationship.

Communicate so clearly so that we can not be misunderstood.

I am a very sarcastic person and sometimes i can come off mean and hurtful while all the while i am only making jokes. I really want to work on being better at using my words for kindness and really trying to be better at making sure that i am not misunderstood or my words aren't taken the wrong way. I want my words to demonstrate my thoughts and feelings. Relationships need communication. but it has to be the right communication to create the power to overcome the world and create a healthy relationship.

On wednesday, we talked about direct power of a certain party in the relationship and how we use that power. A lot of time, we rely on the other person for a lot of things. we want to make them happy and yet we need things from them. so we do things that they want. and we want them to do things for us. But how we use that power is how successful it will be. When we need things, it cant be things that are about "me". We should do things and want things that will benefit both parties in the relationship. Its what we want and how we approach the situation that will make it a success or not. Its not about criticizing or demanding, it should be brought about with love and kindess and then they will better respond and react to what you want. The scriptures says to speak with sharpness however thats not to jab and hurt but to use precise and direct words so as to keep confusion about what you are asking. We should also only mention things when the spirit prompts us to do so. that way we will know if it is beneficial to the relationship in order to create a celestial marriage.

Friday we talked about creating the power by combining our skills and ideas. communicating and combining knowledge will help us reach our highest potential. create a consensus on things to create the best answer between the two of you. But also include the Lord with your communication and what you should do through prayer and expressions of love. Communicate about things gives you additional information that you couldn't get from one mind or one heart. Both hearts are necessary to reach the correct answer. We become vulnerable, but by doing this, it unifies your spirits and gives you more power then any other skill.

Relationships are hard, but with communication, the right communication, we can reach a power that can overcome any obstacle. with faith and trust in the lord and love for your partner, anything is possible.

Trials Make Us Stronger

Crisis is defined as an event that will lead to or most likely force us to change. 

It expresses the idea that our old ways of coping just isnt going to work anymore. 

For the most part, i use to always think of a crisis as a terrible thing. as something that should be afraid of and scared to encounter. Its funny because when i think about, trials have only ever made me stronger. but i still hate them. i guess that is because when you are going through the trial, it is terrible and hard and not fun. but in the end, maybe way far in the end, it turns out okay. The Lord always says that he wont give us anything that we cant handle, but it is still scary to be pushed to our limits. 

Families experience a lot of trials throughout their development. How could they not? and no family is protected from this struggle nor should they be. because the truth is, crisis' are good for the family. going through the trial is a way for the family to build off of it. they adjust and make their family stronger and better and more efficient to handle the situation and other situations like it. I am not saying it will work every time, but for the most part we learn to change. there are many different theories and models to prove this point. dr. stresser, the roller coaster model, and the ABC models demonstrate the up and down movement of families and how in the end, it is up to the families and what they are willing to do, to decide the outcome of the struggles. 

Its important to be strong and instead of falling apart, they should bound together, rely on each other and make each other survive. We need to prepare the relationships ahead of time in order to withstand the difficult situations

I know that for me, i have seen many families experience a lot of pain such as a death of a family member, and they became better people because of it. stronger more worthy LDS and just better people all around.

The story about Brother Williams family was heartbreaking. there was not a sound in the classroom as he was teaching it. But he was also so inspiring. so strong and he was able to see the good and be grateful for the trial that took his brother away because he could see how much better his family is because of how they worked through such a difficult time. 

Its important to have resilience. we must fight against the pressure and bounce back much like a ball does due to the pressure. We experience many risk factors, something that makes crisis' happen more likely, and it is also important to avoid these things or think about if the activity is worth the risk or not. 

but luckily we have many protective factors that will help us overcome these difficult times and things that we can do to protect us from needing to face these things. I am so grateful for the gospel and for the strength it brings to my family. I will never wish for a crisis' or hope that we go through tough situations. but i know that if i do ever have to face one, i will be prepared and i will become stronger because of it and not crumble under the pressure. 

Mid term exam time

So this week we only had one class because our teacher went on a conference thing. so that was good! haha we got two days off! it stinks though because this class is in the middle of my other classes so i was going to have to be on campus anyways. but still i got to catch up on hw. and i got 100% on my test. so last week was good.

the test was all about the idea of same sex marriage and how to communicate with a person who does nto share the same beliefs as you. i think that living in california, i have learned to just keep my mouth shut. its better not to say anything then to fear offending someone. i mean lets face it, california is full of them. one wrong opinion and you will most likely offend them or their family or their friend or their neighbor or anyone else. its too hard. so therefore i dont say anything. But as i was taking the test, i couldn't help feeling dumb and chicken. why wouldn't i just say what i believe? there are so many ways to say it politely and with a tone that does not hurt the feelings of the other person. I should be confident enough and educated enough to be able to describe what i feel and why i feel that way.
so i am going to try and do better at that this week. im giving myself my own little assignment. ya know? my own little mid term test.
I think its kind of like sharing the gospel. everyone is free to believe what they want and many of times, they will not agree with what i have to say, but lets face it, if i dont share it, does that mean i am ashamed?? i dont know. but what i do know is that it sis essential to share what i believe and i hav learned that when you do, you become more aware of how you feel and more confident in what you believe in.
Having the holy ghost to help me should make me confident as well because the Lord will propt me what to say.

On monday we talked about marital sex. but im so childish about this stuff. i really dont do well with it. i guess that is why i am not married or even close to being married. lets face it. im not mature enough.
but thats fine. I will wait. but i know that when i do wait, it will be a wonderful and bonding experience and will make my relationship with my husband stronger. i cant wait to have that love and share the love and my whole self with the one person that will be mine for the rest of my life.. I guess waiting is another one of my tests. ugh mid terms