and the kitchen timer is up.

So this week we learned a lot of great stuff.
But i really feel like the most important thing was what we talked about on Wednesday.
We were talking about when it was right to have children and when it was right to wait.
I must admit i was only partially listening to the lesson because my mind was somewhere else stressing about finals and all the things i needed to be doing, so i wasn't really doing that well of a job.. but then i over heard something that really bugged me.

They were talking about how you shouldn't wait to have kids. i was thinking in my head.. "who the heck's business is it to say when you should have kids or not?!" people in the class were saying dont wait because thats what we were sent down here to do. procreate. Thats why we are married is to raise children. And listening to this just frustrated me so much.

There is no need to rush things. being up here at BYUI there is so much pressure to do everything so fast. So much pressure to move to the next stage of life and the next one right after that. Its scary and a little annoying. Before we can add someone else into our lives, like a husband or a wife, we have to live a life that prepares us to be a good spouse. Go through experiences that make us into worthy temple recommend holders, that makes us strong enough to withstand the trials that arise through mariage and the responsibilities of growing up. YOU have to grow up. so that is why you need to wait to get married until you are ready. not when other people are ready or when they say you should be ready, but when you feel it in your heart that you are enough of a self driven person, that you can add someone into your life and not lose yourself.

the same goes for having a baby. it is such a huge responsibility raising a child. because it is not your own. it is heavenly fathers. and he is placing his trust in you to raise the child right. to care for him or her. to teach him or her and to love him or her whenever they need it. And to do all of this, you must be in the right place in your life to provide it all. You cant be so swamped in college that you wont be able to finish your degree or you wont be able to watch your child all the time. you cant be working from morning to night to make rent and stress about who is going to watch the kid all the time. You cant be in the middle of deciding where you are going to live and what you are going to do with your life and then decide to add another life onto that. Its unhealthy. become stable. become responsible. become ready. its just like food. you cant take it out just because you are hungry right then. its still not going to be ready. sure you can put it in the microwave, maybe be willing to eat it a little raw or a little cold. but whats the good in that? wait late.. its burned or soggy while sitting out. either way, its not good to wait too long or take it out too early. You gotta set the timer for perfection and wait it out. let it cook to the perfect temperature so that when you cut it open, it seeps steam and the smell is so good it makes your mouth water. and eating it is the best thing ever. thats what parenthood should be like. the best thing ever.
So its okay to wait. Not forever, because then that would be a mistake. dont put it off for selfish reasons or just because. Put it off only if you know and you know your heavenly father knows, that you are doing it so that when you can have a child, you can be the best parent you can be. to raise the child the best way you know how and in the way your heavenly father wants you to.
so to all those people that pressure you to have kids. i say stop listening. because in the end, when they are crying and wondering what went wrong, you can sit back and know that you made the right decision for you.